Willy’s Wonderland ( 2021 )

When I mentioned in a previous review that my mom’s favorite person was Stephen King, I lied. That’s her favorite writer. And I neglected to tell you that there’s one man she loves even more— Nicolas Cage. 

Not in a romantic way, but in the way that someone who loves 80’s and 90’s action flicks a little too much could. 

So when she brought me Willy’s Wonderland at first I rolled my eyes— I can only take so much Nicolas Cage and I was already at my limit from watching one of his movies prior. Then I realized this movie was perfect for us. Willy’s Wonderland is our niche interests merged into one chaotic fever dream. Hers? Nicolas Cage punching things. Mine? Five Nights at Freddy’s. 

This is our Super Bowl.

But let’s start with the disclaimer: Willy’s Wonderland is a complete ripoff of Five Nights at Freddy’s. They don’t even try to hide it— which kudos where it’s due because that’s pretty ballsy. There are haunted animatronics, an eerie abandoned pizza place, mysterious murders, and whacky lore that really doesn’t make too much sense but you go along with it anyway. 

If you told me this script was written on a napkin during a copyright loophole brainstorming session on how to capitalize on FNAF’s success, I’d believe you. 

But shockingly, the plot setup… is good? Like, suspiciously competent. Nicolas Cage’s character (no name, by the way, just “The Janitor”. I had to google it.) is stranded in a small town after his car breaks down. How convenient for a horror-action plot. The town’s shady mechanic offers to fix it and even give him a free place to stay… there’s just a hitch. He has to spend the night cleaning and taking care of an old abandoned “entertainment center” (…or a pizza place) named Willy’s Wonderland. 

What’s the catch? It’s haunted by demonic animatronics who may or may not want to kill him. 

Of course. At least he’s not a security guard. 

What really fried me watching this is… Nick Cage doesn’t even question it. He clocks right in, grabs his cleaning supplies, and gets right to work scrubbing the walls like a man doing community service for an unpaid parking ticket. 

And the animatronics? He just beats the gears out of them like it’s his day job. No screaming, no fear, not even really any fumbling. Just raw, very silent, muscle. 

Here’s the other major draw to this movie for me: Nick Cage doesn’t speak. Like at all. Maybe he uttered one or two words but other than that? Silence. He’s just a soda-chugging, pinball-obsessed vigilante who kills demon robots inbetween mop sessions.

The soda and pinball I brought up? Never once explained. And honestly might have been the most bizarre part of the entire movie. Was it supposed to be symbolic? Coping mechanisms? Filler Content to make the movie long? No idea. Honestly, I don’t even care that much it was that worth it. 

Now at this point, I had almost forgotten there was talking in this movie, the FNAF animatronics are pretty much silent. The most they do is scream so I was expecting these one’s to stay the same.

Boy oh boy was I wrong.

The first animatronic you run into is some kinda… ostrich? Doesn’t matter. What did matter was when it suddenly goes “I’m going to rip your fucking face off”. I was aghast— it was so disorienting at first. But after the wave of laughter left me, Nick Cage in turn rips its face off.

Now where would we be without some subplot. The subplot to this movie? Teenagers (of course. We all groan.) A group of cliché misfits with the ring leader Liv Hawthorne who is hell-bent on burning down the “entertainment center” and stopping the cursed cycle of murder and disappearances. 

I get it— they exist to hike up the body count and deliver expository lore. But they ruined the vibe for me entirely. The movie was great without the lore.

Watching Nick Cage solo against a horde of possessed animatronics was what I signed up for, Not watching a bunch of stupid teens fumble around and get themselves killed one by one in the most lame ways possible. What’s even funnier is Nick Cage didn’t seem to care that much either— he let like… most of them die. He even abandoned poor Liv (who was trying to “save him”) at one point to go drink some soda.

By the way, there was like… at least seven different animatronics. Probably more, after a while, I started to lose track when this entertainment center was suddenly the size of Ikea. Each one though had their own fun personality quirk and killing style though! So it never got boring.

Now here’s where I respect the film and give it some originality— the lore. While sure they kept an arm’s length away from FNAF the entire time, they at least switched up how the haunting began. Yes, there was a serial killer BUT these animatronics aren’t possessed by children’s hateful spirits. Instead, a cult does a satanic ritual and all kills themselves after being caught so they can become the animatronics and continue their rampage. 

And in small-town coverup fashion, the local authorities are like yeah sure! They just struck up a deal so they would stop killing townsfolk and instead, they’d give them outsiders to go crazy on. 

After the movie spends about 20 minutes force-feeding you the lore they forgot to mention the entire movie we stumble into the final act. Nick Cage is out of energy drinks and completely over having to babysit everyone who keeps wandering in there trying to save him. He just goes full-on WWE on the last of the animatronics to end the suffering of himself and everyone around him.

And then boom. It’s just over. Liv (barely) survives and Nick Cage gets his car back and drives away into the sunset like nothing happened.

And now here we are once more.. at my final thoughts.

I hate how right she was about this movie. I’m not going to say it’s better Five Nights at Freddy’s… but I’ll say that it’s pretty damn close. It’s campy, chaotic, and incredibly stupid. Nick Cage didn’t utter a single word yet that was his most memorable performance to me.

Where’s his OSCAR?

An easy 4 stars. I hope it gets a sequel.